#and it is a very good skill to be able to detach yourself from the technical meta and know when to just... allow yourself to be entertained

[nyxofdemons]

i think the best way i can articulate why this episode is my favorite of the whole show so far is that it was so emotionally gratifying i don't even care about the pacing issues

[avatarkv]

EVERY CORNER OF THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED. (2)

Synopsis ! Jake had taken you as his own after Tsu'tey's passing, leaving no one to care for you. Things had been good before your relationship with him had blurred along growing of age. You and him fought all the time; argued each other's ear off and tonight was no different-- except words have been said, severing the already damaged bond. Content & warning Jake sully x Daughter!Reader, Sully kids x Sister!Reader Neytiri x Daughter!Reader. (wc: 5264)

You swung your legs over the edge, feet ghosting just above the calm lake that surrounded this part of the forest. It was a bit far from the village, but you felt more at ease knowing that you wouldn’t be found easily. This was your own place and ironically enough, a spot you and Jake had found years ago. You could see the familiar marks left from the arrows you had shot, deeply engraved in some of the trunks. 

One drawing had caught your eye. From one of the trees, a bit taller than the rest; an image of you and your father. It was silly, clearly etched by the hands of a kid no older than six. The lines were harsh as the wood itself was tough, but it was there– almost mockingly. You scoffed, mindlessly grabbing a pebble and flinging it right on the center. 

You have barely moved since you arrived here; detached yourself the moment you had sat near the jagged rocks. It was a habit you presumed you got from Jake. The longer you stayed, the more you succumbed to your ever-bleeding wounds– there was just something so tragic about being an eldest daughter.   

You weren’t all bite, despite the constant snarl on your lips. You weren't so egotistical as to think that you couldn't possibly be wrong, but tonight, tonight you knew damn well Jake was to blame. 

‘Is it because I’m not your daughter?’ 

Your own voice had rang through your mind. You wince in response, cringing internally. That could very well be the case– you weren't part of their family. You can’t help but think that they may have done it out of pity. 

But Kiri wasn’t exactly their own either. In fact, you and Kiri weren’t at all opposites at birth.

While you came from Tsu’tey, she was from Grace; both of you from separate blood and brought together by one. However you weren’t exactly close to Eywa or have the skills she possessed. Kiri was undeniably special– spiritual and awfully attuned. Heck, she had managed to tame her own ikran simply by asking it to be her friend. 

Still, there was no reason for Jake to treat you differently. You were jealous– of course you are. If he’s able to be as gentle as he is with your baby sister, why couldn’t he with you? It was a sickening thought, to think that he acts so rigid and unrelenting around you while he looked at her like she had hanged every star in the night sky. Sure Kiri was special, but you were at least his daughter too. Can’t he spare you even just a second of a loving glance?

With Kiri, he listens intently– looks at her with such tenderness as he takes in her every word. It was the same gaze he wore whenever we visited the sky-people lab; Jake would stare a bit too long at Grace, expression somewhere along the line of reminiscing. Whenever he had moments like these, his eyes would hold some sort of longing– a promise. Perhaps it was because Grace meant the world to him– literally. She taught him everything about Pandora, showed him the way of the Na’vi; gave him another shot at living. 

Kiri was exactly like her mother; wise and cunning. Jake probably sees Grace in her very image.  

You’d think this would be the embodiment of every father with their daughters; kind and vulnerable, but you would argue otherwise. When he looked at you, it was more of regret– grief prolonging. It was a gaze so ugly and unwanted; a weight you’re not supposed to carry. 

Because you’re exactly like Tsu’tey and Jake sees him in yourself. 

It was no secret that Jake was softer when it came to Tuk and Kiri. While you are relieved that it had been that way, you can never pray for them to experience the struggles you are burdened with– it tugged on your heartstrings that you would never feel the warmer side of your father; will never know how it feels to be babied nor to be held gently. 

You were her daughter too so you didn’t understand. What made you any different from them that you had to pretend his love was hidden beneath his icy glares and dismissive grunts? These were emotions nonetheless– however odd or minuscule they may have been. You thought that maybe, just maybe, there’d be a crack to this exterior. Maybe if you tried harder, Jake would soften up to you too. 

But that wasn’t the case because he never did. You had picked apart pieces of yourself that you thought weren’t pleasing– did better despite your age. You were young and only yearned for your father’s approval. 

( “You’re not doing it right. Again.” 

As you stretched your already sore arms for the nth time, ready to take aim, his hands tug on your stance– a bit harsher than intended. Light continued to glare down on your figure as you tirelessly corrected your posture again. Your ears pricked up at the sound of your sibling’s laughter, coming to you from afar. You stole a glance at them as they continued to play and enjoy themselves by the water, their childish exuberance highlighted by their splashing around in the shallow waves.

“Can’t I take a break?” You whined, dropping your stiff shoulders. Hearing them have fun made you want to jump in as well. 

“I didn’t let you talk my ear off just to give up. Come on, you promised me a bullseye today, baby girl.” He said, eyebrows furrowing a bit. You look down to your feet, a bit embarrassed. You didn’t want him to not take you seriously– you fear that if you let him down now, he wouldn’t let you do anything again. “Just one hit and I’ll let you off–”

His head turns sharply towards Kiri as she calls out for Jake, asking him to join them in their game. He can't help but to let out a small chuckle as he yells back a short response of ‘in a minute.’

“Again, come on.” His hands move quickly and firmly grasp your arms, helping you back to the same position before. “I’ll be watching, promise.” With a light tap on your shoulder, he rushes off, chasing after your siblings towards the water.

The quicker you got it done, the sooner you would be able to play. You pulled on the string again and released a heavy sigh before releasing the arrow. After several tries of firing shots that missed their mark, you finally managed to hit dead center with one shot. Your eyes widen in surprise, disbelief crossing your face before you jump excitedly, “Did you see that, dad? Did you–”

Your yell was instantly drowned out by Lo'ak's hearty laugh. You couldn't help but feel deflated as you watched your father lift him up onto his shoulders while the others trailed behind them in a fit of giggles. You run towards them, bow in hand. 

“You weren’t watching–” You tried to pull his hand in your direction, gesturing towards the arrow that was still firmly embedded into the red ring you had created on the trunk of the tree.

"Ah, darn, I missed it?" He said between breathy chuckles as Kiri tried to tug on his tail from behind, barely taking note of your work. "Why don't you do it again? This time I'll be sure to pay attention."

“But I want to play with you now.” 

“Dad– Neteyam caught something! It’s huge, come look!” Jake slowly lowers Lo'ak from his shoulders, letting them pull him towards where Neteyam stood. The children squealed at the sight of the fish (with Kiri letting out a few disgusted gags), but Jake reveled in pride. “Yeah, Neteyam, the mighty fisherman!”

You stayed still on the shore watching them– watching him. It was so easy to lose your father’s attention despite your best efforts. You retreated back to your spot, eyes glaring at the arrow sticking out from the tree. If a single bullseye wasn’t enough to impress Jake, then you’d just have to perfect your aim. Your hits will never miss again and you’ll make him proud.) 

You were clueless. If only you knew that there was no satisfying your father, you would’ve spent the days tirelessly training to play instead– to be an actual kid without having the worries of a grown adult. 

You could leave. At the thought of it, your head swiveled towards the unfamiliar path that would take you away from the clan– away from everything you know. You could leave and never come back; take your father’s name and build your own person. There was this selfish thought pricking at the back of your brain that once they noticed your absence, everyone would look for you and even feel sorry for what they put you through; that Jake would be sorry to lose you. 

You wonder what kind of reputation you'd leave for him when everyone realizes you had run away, never to come back. But it was unfair– your mother would be devastated. Neytiri had already gone through enough, were you worth another heartbreak? She didn’t deserve that. 

Suppose you could only dream that Jake would put on an effort for a search party– for him to grow hopeless and regretful while searching for you. You could only dream that he’d run towards you, arms wide open. “You scared me, sweetheart. I thought I lost you. I’m sorry, dad’s sorry.” 

But you’ve been away for hours and no one has reached out yet. They probably assumed that you only needed some time and space to clear your head, not seeing any cause for alarm. The only thing that waited for you back home was a hell of a scolding and a week’s punishment of tending the ikrans. Sighing, you decided to just head back.  

Your steps are careful– silent, as you near your hut again. You expected for the worst. Neytiri could have told Jake to stay guard outside until you finally decided to come home for all you know, but you weren’t ready for another heated conversation with him just yet. So as you make your way back, you stick your neck out behind the bushes, trying to make out of the surroundings. 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Jake that was waiting outside. It was Kiri. Her figure glows underneath the starry night and it was hard not to be discouraged, but you suppose it was better than having to deal with your father again. 

"Kiri?" You called out in a low voice, and instantly her head snapped up. She quickly jumps to her feet upon seeing your arrival, heart racing as she rushes towards you. Without hesitation, she wraps her arms tightly around you in a hug. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to try and steady herself. “Oh great mother, thank you.”

You tentatively put your arms around her in response, hands patting the top of her head. “This isn’t the first time I ran from home,” Your voice is soft– unsure. 

Feeling your hesitance, she slowly withdraws from you. “But it’s the first time sempul has said something so..” She stops herself mid-sentence, shaking her head as if to clear away her thoughts. “I worry you’d finally want to leave.” 

You stared at her, feeling your insides soften. You could never get angry at Kiri, no matter the situation. You couldn’t just leave. She was your sister still and no one would ever understand you like she does. No one will ever grow you another sibling. As much as you hated yourself, you were meant to watch as she thrives.  

Siblings were such a weird concept; it was hard for you to wrap your head around it. Despite the fact that you could hate them with every fibre of your being, you’d still love them unconditionally and protectively; despise them but burn down the whole universe for their safety. It made no sense to be so full of such strong, conflicting emotions all at once, but she was your sister and that was enough explanation.

“Stupid eywa-powers.” You joke as you take your index finger, lightly pressing it against her forehead. She playfully swats your hand away with a laugh, eyes crinkling.

She silently murmurs, “Not stupid” to herself, a small laugh escaping her lips.

You two slowly sat on your wicker chairs in front of the fire. The seat creaked as you made yourself comfortable. Jake was real handy with his hands back then– made all sorts of things for everyone. Wooden Toruks, comfortable hammocks, and each one a special chair. Everyone’s name was etched on the back and although it was a bit smaller now, considering it was made for when you were toddlers, no one had grown out of sitting on it. 

You smiled at the memory. It was like tradition for the Sully family– a silly one, but loved nonetheless. He first made you the wicker chair and although it was rather flimsy, you argued that Neteyam should have one as well when he came around. 

It was so conflicting– to be able to remember your father was mean, despite being kind, then to know him as kind, despite being mean. You fear Jake could be every word you think of but the word father. 

“Remember that time when we played hide-and-seek and we all thought Lo’ak cheated by hiding back at home only to find out we left him at the forest?” Kiri spoke, eyes fixated at the flames. 

You chuckled, “Yeah, even dad was in on it– told us not to tell mom that we left him.”

“Oh– and that one time they left us to Mo’at to have their little dates and came home to see grandma knocked out and her hut a mess?”

You laughed, rather loudly this time. You remembered the memory like it was yesterday– little Neteyam wrapped from head to toe in bandages as you two tried to play healers; pastes and herbs were scattered everywhere while Lo’ak was playing to his own devices happily (something about kid Lo’ak and wanting to play alone most of the time). “Lo’ak and his lisp trying to explain why he was covered in warrior paint all over his body.”

“Ki-ti told me to do it!” Kiri squeaked out in her best impression of Lo’ak, before both of you burst into smothered laughter— careful not to wake anyone up. After taking a few moments to catch your breath, the area was silent once more. There was no sound other than the crackle of the fire, its flame illuminating the darkness in the vicinity. 

“I’m trying to see the situation in both perspectives,” She starts once the quietness grows unbearable. You averted your gaze, not wanting to talk it out with her.

“I really don’t wanna talk about it, Kiri.” You threw your head back, your eyes burning a hole into the night sky.

“I just don’t want it to explode like what happened a while ago again.” 

You kiss your teeth and let out an exasperated sigh, tongue clicking as you exhale. Deep down you knew that there was no getting out of this situation, so you may as well hear what they had to say. “Fine. What’s your diagnosis, doc?” 

The flap of the hut's entrance is suddenly thrown back, revealing a rather disoriented looking Lo'ak stumbling out. It's clear he had just been stirred from his slumber. “You two aren’t as quiet as you think you are.” He said, his voice low. He made his way over to Kiri and sat down beside her with an audible yawn. “What is it this time?”

“Eywa tells me of your troubles,” Kiri starts, ignoring Lo’ak. “Father isn’t at all the greatest, I know, but he’s trying– His choices aren't really the best, but it’s what he knows. If you think about it, he was just as young once and you don’t exactly become a father twice.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“She’s saying– cut him some slack, maybe?” Lo'ak breaks the stillness with an unexpected remark, his voice quite loud in comparison to Kiri's careful words. His comment catches you off guard and you shift your position uncomfortably on your seat.

“Brother, you really have to stop going out with Spider. You and your lingo is getting harder and harder to discern.” Kiri jabs him from the side, “What he means to say is– maybe you should try being the bigger person instead?”

You let out a deep breath through your nostrils, not enjoying the direction of the conversation. Your brow crinkles in concentration as you try to make sense of why the discussion was taking this turn. You had no desire to pick apart the problem any further and yet, here you were– perhaps Neytiri told them to talk some sense to you? To quiet down for the sake of your old man?

Already sensing your anger, Lo’ak quickly interjects again. “Listen, It’s like,” He turns to you, the grogginess in his expression fading away and being replaced by something more serious. “If dad happens to reprimand us, we save our excuses or any reason we have. The response he wants is an apology and an apology is what you’re going to say– that’s it.”

“But that’s unfair.” You let out a groan, lips turning into a deep frown. “Especially to you and Neteyam.”

Lo’ak only lets out a playful scoff, as if he’s trying to lighten the mood. “You mean, especially to Neteyam. Bro’s an automated machine– expect him to immediately take the blame.” He says, grinning. “I think dad is just.. cracking the code still? Shit, I don’t know. He had to learn to live on two different stars. It must be hard on him.”

“Doesn’t it hurt you? Trying to understand someone older?” 

Lo’ak stills for a minute as heavy silence envelopes everyone. “Of course it does. It stings a lot sis– but I think, no parent deserves a resentful son when all they wanted was for me to be better.” 

Then it crashes down upon you like a heavy sack filled with rocks, a realization pressing directly against your chest as you watch Lo’ak’s face, illuminated against the flicker of the flames– the lights cast an image you failed to recognize before. Your brothers weren’t exactly immune to Jake’s ways either. He was equally as tough on them. 

Maybe you can try for their sake. Maybe you should take the initiative instead of waiting for your father’s open arms. 

“Why don’t you join us tomorrow instead? Take your mind off things. We’re visiting the old shack with Spider,” Lo'ak's hand carefully reaches for your hair, the tips of his fingers ruffling through your braids– a gesture he picked up after Neteyam. You chuckle, suddenly slightly embarrassed. 

“Isn’t it dangerous?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. 

“It is,” Kiri answers for Lo’ak, giving him a pointed glare. “Tuk heard about it and is begging to come along.” 

“More like blackmailed me– I’ll tell mom if you won’t let me come.” He put on a mocking impression of Tuk, sticking his tongue out in an exaggerated way. Kiri gave him another jab, causing him to hiss in response. “But it should be safe.” 

Kiri rolls her eyes. “We are so getting into trouble.”

“You guys go,” You say, back resting against the chair again. “Think I should fix the situation with dad first before getting in trouble again.” 

You feel Kiri’s eyes on you– gaze emitting a sense of gratitude, almost like a tangible thank you for trying. It’s funny how she’s younger than you and yet she looked out for you more than you had. 

You let out a deep sigh as the three of you settled in, reveling in the quiet serenity of the woods. The soft sounds of the forest enveloped you, providing a sense of calm that was hard to miss. Slowly, it lulled you all to a familiar kind of comfort. 

Breakfast was unsurprisingly silent. 

You felt like the room was full of robots, their limbs jerking and movements mechanically programmed as they ate. As everyone shifted ever so slightly, it seemed almost like they were doing it robotically - stiff and slow. It was like they were walking on eggshells around you and it was hard not to roll your eyes. 

It was painfully awkward– a hard watch as Jake tried hard not to make eye contact with you. Neytiri would occasionally jab him from the side and pinch the fat of his thigh. ‘Talk to her.’ – her glare would send him the message. 

He lets out a sigh before visibly gulping. “Y/n.” 

Your head suddenly jerks upwards from the bowl resting in your lap, startled by your father’s voice calling for you. Neytiri watches in anticipation while your heart pounded madly against your chest. Suddenly, the air fills with tension as all movement ceases. Not a single soul speaks or breathes– waiting.

“Pass the salt.” Jesus Christ. 

You give him a deadpan expression, stretching your arms over to pass it to him. He carefully takes it, shaking it over his already salty meal. Neytiri could only push her hands against her face in frustration, a groan of exasperation coming from deep within. After a few minutes, she finishes up and leaves with Tuk in her arms. The rest follow suit.  

“I’m off,” You finish cleaning up the table, standing up from your seat and grabbing the weapons you needed for an impromptu hunt. Without waiting for a reply, you left Jake alone on the table. 

As you trekked further into the forest, you prayed to Eywa for guidance. You were careful to smear the war paint onto your cheeks and forehead– breathing labored, but focused nonetheless. 

You figured, your father has been doing bad from the recent hunts– only coming home with fruits and small portions of meat, sometimes none at all. It was that kind of season where the animals were out to hide and hibernate. You didn’t know where you got the confidence that you’d be able to return with something, considering the best next best warriors could hardly do so. 

You had to try regardless; you thought that perhaps it could be a way for you and Jake to open up a conversation with each other. Maybe he could soften down his glare a bit when you come home with something to eat– but as hours passed and the sun burned to noon, you were only met with disappointment. 

You stopped by an unfamiliar area, leaning against a tree as you tried to catch your breath. You regret not bringing your ikran with you– just what were you thinking?

As if the great mother had noticed your desperation, a familiar sound roars from a distance. Your ears perked up as you tried to walk through the thick bushes. A lone sturmbeest, drinking by the river. You sighed in relief before hurriedly taking your bow out of your back. They mostly traveled by a herd, but today might just be your luckiest– you stretch your arms, carefully approaching the animal. 

Just this once, you pleaded, be in my favor. 

The journey home was dreadful. You had been carrying meat and a few bones for what seemed like hours on end, feeling the strain in your back from the task. It was a small sturmbeest– presumably female by the size, but it should be enough to provide meals for a week or so. Before you knew it, eclipse approached fast and you were eager to meet your hammock. 

You couldn’t see; unable to hold any form of light as you needed both hands to carry the heavy sack, but the thought of going home with something to proudly show your father rekindled the sense of pride that was long gone; a feeling you hadn't had in a long time– burned by the countless times you’ve tried to gain even a drop of recognition.

You were successful in hunting a sturmbeest when no one couldn’t for the past weeks– your father would be proud and that was all the strength you needed to continue waking. 

Noticing the familiar path back to the clan, a surge of adrenaline courses through your body from the thought of already nearing home. But as the horns blared from the village, you felt nothing but confusion– What could it mean and why this late? You quickened your pace towards them. 

Ikrans flew in, landing at the open space as everyone gathered around. You squeezed your way in through the crowd– stomach churning as the sound of Tuk's cries became more and more clear with every step; but before you could run to your baby sister, you were harshly pulled back. You immediately recognize your father’s calloused hands, but this time his grip was harsh– unrelenting. Careful not to trip on your feet, you steadied yourself, head looking up to meet his glare. 

“Where were you?” 

And just like that, your thoughts come crashing down around you from the sight of your father towering your figure, leaning in slightly. You feel it in the pit of your stomach; this wasn't what you wanted to come home to, this wasn't what you were expecting.

“Sir I–” 

“The kids are hurt,” Neytiri hissed, tugging him sharply away from you. “For once, hold your tongue.”

He gives you one last glance, nostrils flaring as he walks away. That was your cue to trail behind. You walked behind him, eyes cast downwards as your thoughts raced through your mind. Neytiri is quick to come and stand by your side, soft kisses pressed into the top of your head. “Are you hurt, ma’ite? Where were you?” She softly asks. 

You pause, feeling the words on the tip of your tongue leave the moment you try to open your mouth to speak. For some reason, you felt embarrassed— ashamed. 

“What happened?” You whispered as you neared your grandmother’s hut. You glanced back to your sibling’s shivering figures, all of them unable to look you in the eye. Neytiri didn’t answer either– didn’t know how to tell you that they had found them once again. They processed the severity of the situation still, clearly shaken up and scared. 

Everyone stepped inside, Mo'at immediately gathering each of them in a warm embrace. She spoke her thanks to Eywa in a gentle murmur, kissing the top of their heads. Neytiri quickly drew Tuk into her own arms, easing her shaking body. 

“Outside, now.” Jake whispers before leaving. You take one last look around at all the people in the room before finally following him, your palms beginning to sweat as your anxiety intensifies.

Once you both find yourselves in a place where there were no lingering stares or whispers, (and without Neytiri having to save your ass this time), he turns to you, anger just as fiery as before. He strides back and forth, feet heavy on the ground as he attempts to choose his words carefully.

“I–” He started to speak, but then averted his gaze, his jaw clenched tight as he tried again. “Where were you?” 

You try to swallow the lump forming in your throat as you mull over the question, taking a deep breath before finally attempting to answer. “I went out on a hunt. I have–”

“Without telling anyone firsthand? With scattered avatars over the perimeter?” Jake is quick to interject, arms flailing in anger. “Just what were you thinking? You knew about them going to the old shack and you did nothing to prevent it?” 

Your shoulders slump wearily, feeling extremely overwhelmed. “I only wanted to–”

“Jesus Christ, it’s always about what you want, yeah? You with wanting to be olo’eykte, you with wanting to be heard. You and your goddamn wants had us all worried!” 

And as you listen to him raise his voice, you turn younger and younger– until you were that same kid trying to tug on his arms to look at your first hit; that same kid who would do anything just for a moment of his time. It was like being ten years old all over again and realizing that he was slowly slipping away. That’s where you finally decided that Jake— your father, was just capable of unloving a child. 

You take a step back, feeling the frustration boiling over as well. “Well maybe if you were a better father, they wouldn’t have the need to go against you every once in a while!” You shouted with the same volume as his, “You act as if we’re some sort of troops rather than a family–”

“I do it for you– for everyone! To keep them safe! You think it’s easy?” 

“Well you did a pretty good job because from what I see, they’re shaking in their boots inside grandma’s hut!” You sarcastically remarked, “Best dad of Pandora, yeah?” 

“Jesus Christ,” He mutters under his breath before looking up, as if he was pleading for Eywa to lengthen his patience. He then looked at you, eyes momentarily softening. You were breathing heavily, fangs baring. It was funny, he thought. You weren’t his daughter and yet you stood in front of him now looking exactly like him. 

What he didn’t understand was that it wasn't Tsu’tey’s attitude that was passed down to you– rather, it was Jake’s anger you inherited. This was all him. All his fault. 

“I thought I had it good, having Toruk Makto as a father. Five year old me was the proudest, if not a bit boastful too.” You muttered, gaze not meeting his. “There’s this huge difference that draws the line between being the olo’eyktan and a father and you’re doing a real shit job at the latter.”

I miss the latter, you failed to say. 

You failed to see the way his ears flattened against his head, how his shoulders dropped like he couldn’t hold the weight of the world’s pressure anymore– but you were unable to see him. No, you two didn’t see each other eye to eye. To know that you failed your child was something a parent would never want to hear. His own daughter resented him and it was a heartache beyond repair. 

“You think you make parenting any easier for me?” 

“Then I wish you never took me in!” 

It was such a thoughtless thing to do; to utter words that you know will only harm you more than they would ever heal - but it was there, finally out of your system; a though that lingered for as long as you can remember. Why take me in? Why raise a kid you wouldn't be able to care for?

You only wished that words could be undone but neither of you knew when to bite one's tongue back.

“Yeah?” He challenged, letting out a mocking snicker. “I really wish I didn’t– is that what you want me to say? Then go ahead and leave. Find a new family, see if they won’t find you any less difficult.”

And that was the final blow– the push you needed to leave. You looked at him in disbelief, vision blurry with tears. You shoved the bag right to his chest, forgetting it momentarily amidst the shouting session you just had with your father; the one you desperately wanted to present to him. With nothing else to say, you stormed off, leaving him behind. 

Oh Eywa, there is nothing else as undoing as being an eldest daughter. 

believe me, i've been trying to post this since 7 am and it's already a quarter 'til 9. tumblr has got to b fucking w me bec i just ran through at least 4 problems trying to get this on my account

anyway, hellaur. i know this is a bit overdue, but i had to make adjustments because i just had to get everyone's inputs and opinions in! i absolutely LOVE everyone's ideas nd you best believe i am trying to make everything word (also bec of the fact that i am a slow writer, so pls bear w me) hopefully i'm doing the story justice! this part went through a lot of modifications bec i kept feeling unsatisfied (i still am, kinda)

also, i couldn't tag a few people! 'm so sorry, some of the names don't pop up when i type it down ;(

tags: @erm2020quinzeanos @al-lethan @violilaqrs @sparklyphantom @iwanttohitmyself @planetslove @teyamsjustsleeping @sully-stick-together @grandgreengrapes @erensbbg @queen-dk @loaklvr @theyoungeagle @ducks118 @teyyyteyyy @yeosxxx @simply-lovely78 @ellabellabus07 @thehoneymushroomhealer @saturdayrj @kingjulian0o9 @hippiezworldz @joemamalackin @random-3455 @zoetrope1997 @cl0esblogg @anxietydrogz @lokisfirstandlastwife @hiddensnow1 @lunyyx @pearlsandcoconuts @blkmystery @marsbars09 @gcldtom @luna-salem @wolflover384 @mushy-mushroom04 @whatthemonsterfuckisthis @eternalidentity @celi-xxmoon @dumb-fawkin-bitch

[galene-gothic]

𝖧𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽/𝖽𝗈 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗉𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗂𝖻𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 ?

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⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

People would describe you as someone who's confident, persistent and resilient. Some of them know about situations or people that have caught you off guard in the past. They'd describe you as someone who has a lot of courage and jumps even when feeling fearful. These people would describe you as someone vigilant and someone who is kind of on their guard because of past experiences. They'd describe you as someone who leaves the past behind themself. They'd describe you as someone who's kind of drained mentally but is still pushing on. They'd also describe you as someone who's able to learn from their past failures. Someone could've hurt you and I think these people who hurt you were in some sort of a silent competition with you? People would talk about it. They'd describe you as someone who doesn't really struggle with finding a community and deepening your relationship with them. They'd say something like "___ always has people who are there for them even if it's not their immediate friends or family." For some of you, you prefer going to the same cafés, restaurants, etc. or love (or atleast feel comfort in) your hometown and people would talk about that.

For some of you, they'd talk about your broken relationship with some of your family members. They could also say things like "___ isn't even all that" or something like "___ changes their partner quite frequently". For some of you, your close ones could discuss your sad childhood. They'd describe you as someone who struggles with extremes when it comes to emotions, some say you're too detached while others say you're too emotional. They'd describe you as someone who has released most if not all of their fears. For some of you, they'd talk about how you're juggling two different things (like school and job, full time job and part time job, etc.) They'd talk about how you've got priorities but know how to fit different things into their schedule and life as they enter. They could describe you as someone who's busy though. They'd talk about your time management and organisational skills. They would talk about how different you can get when things come down to it though. They would talk about how hardworking you are. They would describe you as someone who is able to persevere despite all the troubles that life might throw at you. They would talk about how your focus is both on the long term and the short term. These people would compliment you and go "how do you do all that?"

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

People would describe you as someone who's not very honest with their feelings. They'd describe you as someone who tries to be self aware and extremely critical of themself to the point where it affects your emotions. Some of you hold guilt towards someone, maybe even yourself? People who know about that talk about that as well. They could very well describe you as someone who ignores their own emotions. They'd describe you as someone who cares about their friends. Also someone who's popular. They'd describe you as someone who knows how to have a good time. They'd describe you as someone who's quite social or is always thinking about connecting with new and powerful people. They'd describe you as someone who tries to talk about their emotions to certain people (especially if it starts to threaten your relationship with them). If not, you atleast try to communicate properly. You could be a part of a trio or were at some point of time. They'd describe you as someone playful and fun. They'd describe you as someone warm who shines amongst everyone but still tries to make others shine? You could very well be the type to compliment people or push them to be in the spotlight. They'd describe you as someone who's living a good life and is abundant in many aspects. They'd describe you as someone loving and maybe even someone childlike. They'd describe you as someone who they feel safe with and someone who tries to include others.

For some of you, they'd describe you as innocent looking. They'd describe you as someone who's confident and doesn't mind being the center of attention. You seem like someone who's unapologetically themself in many ways. So many people tend to be insecure because of how the spotlight just naturally finds you. They'd describe you as someone affectionate. They'd describe you as someone who's open to the unexpected and is emotionally open too. They'd describe you as someone who shows their emotions even if you might not be honest with them. They'd describe you as someone who's kind of difficult to catch? It's like you're just like a kid (that's what I heard). Especially, at the beginning people tend to think that you're very expressive, affectionate and childlike but as time passes by, they realise that you're actually not the most open when it comes to talking about your emotions (negative ones atleast). Some people describe you as someone who has a nostalgic personality and also has a harder time moving on from the past. Some people describe you as someone who's too naive and let's others take advantage of them. Different people have REALLY different perceptions of you. Some people think that you're very mature, too mature for your age even. I wouldn't be surprised if you get along better with people either younger or older than you than with people the same age. At the core, even I'm picking up that you're quite mature. I feel like sometimes you act childlike just because when you're yourself, people feel threatened.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

People would describe you as someone who suppresses their emotions. There are people who describe you as selfish. Some people describe you as someone who lacks self respect (probably for the ones who stay in toxic relationships, friendships or situationships 💀). They'd describe you as someone who is always tired. They talk about how you should leave certain people or situations. They describe you as someone who acts indifferent even though you're really affected by certain situations. Some people describe you as a person who has no interests aside from your love interests. You could be leaving a situation, if yes, people are applauding you for it behind your back. They describe you as someone who is taking some time in order to get your life and thoughts in order. They would describe you as someone who is going through an emotional time right now. People see your potential but feel like you're not making the most out of it, supposing you're a student who's kinda average, teachers might try to push you to do better because it's apparent that you have a lot of potential. Some of you might not have the privilege to solely focus on school, university or work.

Some of you might have financially struggling families so you've always had to suppress your desires, so you wish to start working as soon as possible. If you're still in school or university, this could cause you to come off and perform half heartedly. NOT AT 'VAMPIRE' BY OLIVIA RODRIGO PLAYING. IF YOU WALKED AWAY FROM SOMEONE OR SOMETHING, DON'T EVER LOOK BACK !! Why are only songs like that playing, 'moral of the story' is playing now. People would describe you as someone who needs to isolate to deal with their problems. They'd describe you as someone who feels empty on the inside because of how you surrounded your life around certain people or places. They'd describe you as someone who doesn't let go until they drain the shit out of you and almost literally crush your heart into pieces. They'd describe you as someone who's discontent and keeps on repeating certain patterns. They'd describe you as an imaginative person who daydreams a lot. They would describe you as someone pessimistic and depressed too though 😭. I feel like this reading is more like confirmation or guidance, please take good care of yourself.

[ediesguidetoeverything]

advice: detaching yourself from male validation & seeking relationships

here's the thing with high school relationships: they are so so fun. the idea of a first love is such a beautiful thing in my opinion, and I think everyone SHOULD experience at like a sort-of romantic relationship before college. this teaches people how to care for others, have communication skills, and serves to help you navigate future, more serious relationships later in life.

HOWEVER, you really, really, really shouldn't ever depend on this idea that you will find a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend in high school, that you'll be sweethearts and go to prom together and be this perfect, complete thing. because, to put it honestly, people think too much about themselves. especially at an age where you are still very much a kid, growing and learning and sometimes not taking others into consideration.

" so, what?" SO, here is how you navigate this incredible strong desire to obtain a boyfriend, or even just romantic attention from guys:

get a hobby. not one to impress anyone but yourself. if you like a guy who's super into film, you don't need to become a ' film girl'. find somethings that screams YOU. it can literally be anything you enjoy doing in your free time, ( i'll put up a link to suggestions here) but I'm personally advising something productive. which brings me to my next point...

get off your phone!!! i can't say enough about this, seriously. if you're constantly checking your socials, on tiktok/snap/insta, you will be taking in the lives of other people, whether it be your friends or complete strangers. this builds jealousy. a proven fact, depression and anxiety is present teenagers who use social media DOUBLE the amount of teens who don't. majority of these apps don't lead to anything good, and mainly serve as major distractions to other important aspects of your life. ( i know you're reading this on tumblr, but i'm here to tell you that my account is good vibes only luv y'all)

non-romantic social interaction is key. everyone needs environments where they are able to decompress, be ugly, be genuine, laugh and have a good time without the upkeep or stress of trying to look a certain way. this is what real friends are for. on top of this, good friends will shut down negative self-talk and hype you up like you deserve to be! spend time with people that make you feel good about yourself.

turning that all into confidence doesn't look like the simplest thing, but trust me, it can be effortless with time and sticking to what you know is best for yourself. putting your phone away creates less windows into other people's lives, which will in turn make you realize that those people you once obsessed over? not that important. reaching that step will be such a relieving feeling, and you won't regret it. putting your time into things you're interested will help you get to know yourself better, enjoy solitude, and will genuinely make you happier. the reason people encourage things like this in the first place is because they work!! the final results of doing these things will look like a self-confidant queen, who doesn't chase, but attracts.

[curatorofvibes]

Lilith in the 2nd House

Artwork by Blake Kathryn

Lilith in the 2nd / Second House natal. Don’t let astrology limit you, you can be who you dream you are!

Lilith in the 2nd House Natives can either love the idea of material possessions (2nd house being “the house of possessions”) or loathe the idea of material possessions. When it comes to material possessions, they can use their sexuality or in general do whatever act necessary as a way to gain their desires. Natives may have been rejected and struggled with financial stability and/or their self-worth. This battle with stability and security could’ve stemmed from an authority figure taking things from them and holding them back from attaining those things. As a result of this, they become very protective of their finances. They mostly care about ownership, whether that is people or things. However, natives can also be the most sensual of beings once they trust you or.. “own you” and let you in. When they do let you in, the sex feels very personal. They’ll make sure it’s an unforgettable experience for you because of how intimate, sensual, and all-consuming the sex can be with them, but you’ll only see this side of them if they let you in. If they don’t let you in, they’re able to quickly detach from the connection and leave you stunned wondering what just happened. Something that kept coming up is how fascinating, magnetic, and sexy the voices of these natives tend to be. I wanted to make sure I added that in because who doesn’t love a good voice? One major thing I learned from research is that these natives can feel unworthy and have low self-esteem. As a result of this, I wanted to boost the Lilith in the 2nd House natives up with this playlist and make them feel good and let them know you are worthy (Worth It). You’re amazing and I wish you a smooth self-love journey and hope you get to that point in life where you do love yourself unconditionally for who you are and never settle. With that being said, I hope that I was able to successfully show love to these natives and through this playlist and post I hope that I’ve provided at least a glimpse into what Lilith in the Second House might feel like. ~ ♡CuratorofVibes♡

Playlist Description:

To start off, I would like to preface by stating that this playlist and description of this astrological placement is from the perspective of a native with this placement utilizing seduction and manipulation as a way to feel worthy and gain a sense of security in life, mostly through material objects and a reliance on love from others.

The playlist starts off talking about material things and using sex and seduction as a way to gain those things in life. I used the track “Pyramids” by Frank Ocean to paint a picture of the Lilith in 2nd House native feelings in a sense. For example he mentions “What good is a jewel that ain't still precious?” and “You feel like God inside that gold”. Then the second part of the song goes into working at the Pyramid. At this point, the Lilith in 2nd House native is all about the money. Nothing is no longer free from them, they make you feel good (physically, emotionally, etc.), but now you have to pay for it. The lines that I relate to that are, “The way you say my name makes me feel like I'm that —, but I'm still unemployed” and, “But your love ain't free no more”. These natives tend to be skilled at successfully dangling temptation in front of you and making everyone think that they have a chance with them if they work hard enough for it, when chances are they never had a chance from the start. They’re able to do this without ruining their enigma and revealing that they’re the one in control.

The theme of the second part of “Pyramids” continues on with the next few songs of this playlist. Not only does it continue on with that theme, but it also emphasizes the Lilith in 2nd House native’s obsession with money and material things. They want to keep those things with them for life to feel secure and they’re willing to do whatever immoral or moral act it takes to get those things because it makes them feel worthy.

“what it means to be a girl” by EMELINE, kind of introduces the Lilith in 2nd House native. Essentially, I used the song as a description of the native presenting themselves in an overtly sexual manner while faking their happiness and feelings of security to please their objects of desire.

With the song “SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY Remix” by Amaarae, Kali Uchis, Moliy, the playlist goes into a sort of party girl vibe where the Lilith in 2nd House native is portrayed as the life of the party. This can also be their version of feeling worthy by being surrounded by so many people relying on them to be the source of fun. ”I don’t wanna stop, I’m dancing dancing”. Into “Maraschino Love” by EZI as the perspective of the person experiencing the Lilith in 2nd House native, especially with the lyrics, “Your lips a sugar rush, Like candy on my tongue. Once I got a taste I couldn’t stop” and “Wanted every drop, Give me all you got. I’ll sip you out the bottle! You're so sweet like cherry pop? Was like "oh my God", My new favorite drug, You go down like liquid velvet”. This continues on with the next song, “Candy” by Doja Cat with the lyrics, “She's just like candy, she's so sweet, but you know that it ain't real cherry” and, “Sugar coated, lies unfolded, you still lick the wrapper. It's addictive, you know this, but you still lick the wrapper”.

The song, “Nate Growing Up” by Labrinth is the transition back into the theme of the second part of “Pyramids”. “ESCORT” by Chase Atlantic tells a story of leading a lonely life where your body is your source of material security and people use it, but there’s never any real connections made. This person craves a new life of security and comfort without feeling used in the end. The song also slightly touches on daddy issues, which is something I read these natives can have during my research.

The playlist now goes into the sensuality themes that the 2nd House can bring because after all, this is the house of Taurus which is ruled by Venus and deals with sensuality, love, and intimacy. For this, I started with the song “Sexhibition” by Miss.Janet Jackson. This part of the playlist talks about how the Lilith in 2nd House native can make you feel free and as if you’re the only one in the world. They make YOU feel worthy and in more ways than one can give you...“Good Comfort”.

For Lilith in 2nd House natives it’s all about self-worth. I now use the track, “SWEET / I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE” by Tyler, The Creator, Brent Faiyaz, Fana Hues to transition into the self-worth portion of the playlist. I feel like this song perfectly described the line (from what in my opinion is a great description of Lilith in the 2nd House, or maybe I just really love lilmajorshawty’s writing lol), “they can wear plenty of silly pretend tones, and soothe anyone into a manipulative tactic and make it seem like it was all a misunderstanding”. It starts off as the native being the sweetest person ever and then to “I THOUGHT”, as in I thought this was what you wanted? Now there’s a misunderstanding!

Lastly, this playlist goes into loving being you and feeling secure in yourself as a Lilith in the 2nd House native because while this placement deals with material aspects, money, and what you’re worth, a big part of that worth is your self-worth.

(...)

(Spoil me rotten.)

(“The money is the motive.”)

(“Mi have good comfort.” )

(I might let you in, but you'll have to stick around to find out.)

(You’ll lose yourself to me as I take you on the ride of your life.)

("Put ribbons in my curls then carry around a knife with my diamonds.")

(“She's just like candy, she's so sweet. But you know that it ain't real cherry.”)

(I am so damn worth it.)

(Never Settle.)

(“To know your heart is a brave thing.”)

(⚸.)

I would also like to state that I'm not an astrologer, I created this post because of the playlist that I made in relation to this astrological placement and simply wanted to share it with whoever it finds its way to.

NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO REPOST, PLEASE GIVE CREDIT.

[seleniangnosis]

Mid Year Check In 💗🪽

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

Hi everyone 💌🧁! My life is keeping me quite busy, and away from the tumblr tarot community for a while now. I've done this spread for me yesterday, so I decided to share it with you as well.

The reading is intended to provide you with some help and answers on how you've been progressing this year, and a bit of what to expect next 🤍. Pick the picture/pile you're most drawn to and feel free to discard any information that doesn't resonate with you. Enjoy! And reblogs are highly appreciated

Pile 1

Hello pile one and welcome to your reading 🧁🤍

You've entered this year with a goal in mind. Whether be it personal growth and development, topping your class , or building on your finances, you were ready to do whatever it takes to get there. You might have been a bit stubborn with your plan, even to the point where you neglected other life aspects, or for others, you've been very driven on changing the circumstances you've found yourself into for a long while.

You seem to have been extremely diligent with your plans, following them trough, or created a very structured way to get you where you want to be. For those who have jobs, or were job searching, this year has been spent for sure on achieving some sort of financial abundance, or create a foundation for your career, this part is highly similar to my own reading and I can say I truly worked hard this year, so pile 2 congratulations on your hard work, and I hope you're enjoying the fruits of your labour.

You've got so many pentacles cards here pile 2 ,so yeah a lot of focus on personal development, finances, and stability.

Something you've learnt is how to be consistent in your work, life , studies etc, rely on yourself, and how to manage ideas, or maybe a situation when something doesn't go the way you planned it. Some of you might have been focused on creating business connections or just create some stable new connections in regards to work / workplace, or maybe you were focused on finding a workplace where you felt like you can grow and develop your skills.

Something that you'll have to pay more attention to, and might serve as your next lesson is related to some self introspective work, and spending some time with yourself. You seem to have been all on the grinding mindset, so much that you kinda forgot about yourself. Good work ethics are great, but I get the impression that you were overworking yourselves, and you got the results, but detached from yourself and some self care.

If you have a certain goal set in mind, go for it, but not on the expense of your health. I got an intresting mix of cards, which leave me with the idea that you're highly aware you're stressed and have been working your brains out, but you keep going because you already have your mind set on something and only after you get that thing done you'll be able to relax.

Whatever it is pile 1, I'm proud of you, but please don't forget to tend to your needs as well 🤍💌.

Pile 2

Hello pile two and welcome to your reading 🤍🧁

The message of this pile seems to be again centered around money, finances, staring a new job / moving to a different job, work. Some of you might have started as an intern in your first job, or changed your career. You might have felt a personal call to change your orientation and start something new. I'm getting that energy of " should I stay ? should I leave ? What if I get into a much worse situation if I leave this place?" . Maybe, for some of you, your workplace was toxic and no longer suitable, but you were afraid of what could happen if you don't find a better one , or none at all.

Some of you might have took a break and some time to reflect and redefine their goals. I feel like even though you were getting some reward and results, they were not worth the mental exhaustion, the stress , and what you were putting yourself trough.

It's highly possible for you to still be in this energy/ situation, because as the next lesson the universe has in store for you I got something about facing what you're afraid to face. You seem to be caught too often and too tight into your own thoughts, that you're blocking your rational thinking, so you keep yourself away from reaching that freedom. Pike 2 , how stressed you are rn? You're thinking about making a move, making a plan, you get distracted by illusory thoughts, you're back to square one.

You should start looking at the good side of the things as well, not only what can fail or go wrong. Have more faith in yourself pile two 🤍💌!

Pile 3

Hello pile three and welcome to your reading 🤍🧁

The page of pentacles showed up in all 3 piles, but for this one, the energy is centered more on self work and development. For you I'm not getting much about money, work and finances, but about new start and goals around personal development. Your year was more of a journey in the search of what works and what doesn't for you. What improvements can you be making in terms of how you think about yourself, how can you change your mindset and find more fulfilment, rather than resenting yourself for things that didn't work out. Maybe you've even been unsatisfactory with who you were , and spent time improving yourself, making better decisions that bring you healthy benefits, and enjoying the journey of these small new beginnings. You learned to have more faith in yourself, in the fact that you're capable of improving yourself.

As something that you are still about to learn, well when I picked the cards I got " committing to yourself ", so ... commit to yourself. Maybe you feel guilty about how you've changed, and even though it's a positive change for you, others might make you think you're selfish, or a bad person. Maybe you were too tolerant in the past, and now that you've learnt to take better make better decisions, others see you as too self preoccupied.

For the rest of the year your goal should be yourself. Creating stability for yourself, and share it with those like-minded, who appreciate your presence in their lives💌🤍.

[stardustizuku]

PART 4: Royalty Kinda Sucks

So, here’s the situation: When we are first introduced to the concept of Nobility, as seen through the Nobility’s eyes, it becomes apparent that there’s a reason behind every nonsensical tradition there is. 

You must always smile and conceal your emotions because else, you’ll be in danger, making yourself the enemy of someone you cannot refuse. Civilians must be devoted to their Lord/nobles because they’re the ones with Mana, and without Mana, the farmers suffer. There’s no food, there’s no agriculture. 

And at the beginning of the series, Rozemyne accepts this as the truth.

She sees how the amount of Mana offered correlates to the very livelihood of the commoners. Just like her, we as an audience, believe this story 100%. There’s an order to things, Nobility is inherently superior, some people just wield more power than others. 

Despite this, however, Rozemyne never fully buys into this idea. 

Ferdinand and the rest of the nobles say “There’s no need for commoners, they live entirely by the kindness or lack of it from the nobles”

While, on the surface, Rozemyne agrees to it (or more like, cannot find a way to counterargument), each every action since proves that she very much disagrees. 

She keeps listening to commoners, keeps trying to employ the orphans, educating the kids, and forming connection with the merchants. Her instance on staying on the temple is very much a way for her to cling to her commoner origins and refusing to let go of them. And, whenever someone tries to take advantage of them, she tries her hardest to stop it by any means possible.

My favourite argument she makes, is when she explains, in Part 4 to Hartmut that: 

“If we view this as nobles thinking up trendy goods and commoners making them, then nobles are the thinking mind while commoners are their hands and feet, no? Overloading commoners with unreasonable demands is no better than crippling one’s own arms and legs”. 

On the surface this is an argument that appeals to nobles, seeing commoners as nothing more than another tool that must be properly utilized. However, Rozemyne is inadvertently sneaking in one of her own core views: Nobles and commoners and equals. 

Rather than seeing commoners as an entirely detached object, she introduces the idea of commoners and nobility existing in an ecosystem. And here comes the first bit of proper commentary: 

Hierarchies are fundamentally flawed, and what we need in a society are communities. 

Rozemyne, being a chronically ill person, depends on others to do her work. To survive, we need communities and support networks. Some of the most brilliant minds and powerful players of the game do not thrive in a society that rigidly adheres to power structures such as nobility. Those so quick to toss away and dispose of whoever doesn't "fit in". Best example is Ferdiand - who was stiffled by Veronica.

This is juxtaposed with Ferdinand Hirschurl and Christine, all geniuses in their own right, extremely capable and talented. Neither of which was able to survive Ehrenfest. Even nobles of other duchies state that a single talented individual is incapable of turning the tides of their duchy. 

It’s only when Rozemyne comes into the picture, forcing people around her to function as a community, as a system, that any real change is made. She’s remarkable, perhaps more than for her intellect, in her ability to raise people. Her ability to form systems and networks of highly skilled attendants what allows her to be perceived as a saint. 

This is a direct contrast to her days as Urano, where she only ever submersed herself in books. I don’t doubt that Urano was as much of a genius as Rozemyne is - but her inability to connect and create a community to help her out was what caused her to be isolated. Only ever to see books and nothing more.

As Myne, she was forced to confront how vital to her survival family and community mean. As Rozemyne, she was forced to build her own, due to how nobility absolutely destroys said community in favour of a hierarchy. 

And all of this, is a microcosm of Royalty. 

The same attitude the nobles have to commoners is a direct 1:1 to how royals treat other nobles. They see nobles as little more than objects to be ordered around, and just like noble destroy communities and networks, royalty destroys them. Just on a much larger scale. 

Rather than seeing other duchies as, you know, arms and legs to make Yurgenschmidt more powerful, capable or rich, they see them as pawns to move around to protect/save Royals themselves. As if they are Yugernschmidt.

Whenever they say “for the good of Yurgenschmidt” it’s always synonymous with the “good of Royalty”.

The duchies only exist to serve Royals, and not the other way around. They’re more than happy to cut off Ehrenfest and let it struggle, even though it’s slowly becoming the new hot spot for technological inventions in all the country. They’re essentially crippling their own body, to save themselves. And sure, in other contexts maybe it could work. Rather amputate an arm rather than lose the head. But that’s not what they’re doing. They see their “arms” as disposable. Why bother to save one, when you have another that can work as well? (Which is dumb)

This is a direct criticsm of politicians, or position in powers, that see for themselves, rather than for the greater good of a country or the collective. People who would exploit the most vulnerable in a community to keep the status quo, all while claiming it's "for the greater good".

Sisgwald in particular is a great example of what Wilfred could have become if Rozemyne had no stepped in. He very much sees his wives as nothing but ways of attaining more power. He refuses to even think of other people reaching the throne and sees nothing past his own ego.

That’s why he is so taken aback by Rozemyne. Here comes a girl, with so much more experience at negotiating than him, calling him out directly over the many faults that royals are committing. As she points out, they went into a meeting expecting to extort her so completely blind they couldn’t see why Ehrenfest would be unwilling to enter negotiating. 

Ferdinand explained in Part 3 how, whoever has more information in a conversation between nobles has the upper hand. This ought to be the way everyone approaches anything, but Royals very much can’t comprehend this in regards to a lesser/middle duchy. To them, all duchies are the same (much like all commoners are the same to nobles) and do not require the information. This is, to put it bluntly, idiotic to the point of impressive. 

The best example? The very same meeting they had.

Rozemyne was able to get what she needed. Sure, the Royals also got what they wanted. But that’s it. They were able to obtain the bare minimum. While Ehrenfest was able to walk away with extensive concessions and much more room to make preparations. All while bruising the ego of Royalty.

And because they lack this ability to see nobles as a network, they also have the same problems nobles have. Their petty family drama gets dragged onto the surface for all the country to see. They're giving away information that's critical for negotiations without even noticing.

Hell, they almost exploded a war because Anastasius couldn’t tell Eglantine he liked her. Instead of raising each other up, like Rozemyne does, they drag each other own. Their lack of communication causes Rozemyne to be thrust into the middle of their family feud, trying her damnest to solve their problems, while they worry abt their own selfish desires. 

But perhaps the most crucial network that they’ve lost is: Information. 

Due to the fact that Ascendance of a Bookworm is a light novel about books - it’s inevitable that we would stumble at some point with the importance of achieving information preservation. Urano herself, as a librarian, is acutely aware of how easily information is lost. Rozemyne on her hand, has had to see the direct impact this has. 

The reason why the Grutrissheit is lost, is not just the war. It’s the lack of any real information preservation. And this is artificially created by the Royals themselves. 

The Grutrissheit was passed by from heir to heir, but this also meant that very few people were capable of accessing the information. When war struck, those few people were killed, and the texts that remained were written in ancient languages. A language which all but few could read (Let’s put a pin on that*).

And now, we find out that Royals of the past (possibly) implemented a barrier so that no one BUT royalty could access the Grutrissheit. This makes it so that the best Zent candidate they have right now, cannot even touch it. 

In an attempt to shield themselves from others, potentially, stealing what they think their “rightful” position is - they’ve blocked access to information. And now that they’re been killed NO ONE HAS ACCESS TO IT. 

This is something that Rozemyne, as a librarian at heart, is desperately trying to avoid. Through her transcriptions and the rapid spread of the printing industry, she REFUSES to gatekeep information. She wants it to be accessible to anyone who wants, as long as she can get something of equal value (aka, other stories/books), and that's only to emphasize the VALUE books inherently have. 

This is all to say, that the politics of AoB are quite simple if looked through these perspectives, and framing Royalty as the flawed institution it is. 

It’s about how hierarchies of power are bad. The few, who have not proven their worth, have the power to deny information to a large population and deny themselves any responsibility for their actions. 

Ascedance of a Bookworm initially presents you with the idea of Nobility as something rational, just to later point out all the ways it which it’s failing. The only reason why many things are working or improving in Ehrenfest is because of Sylvester and his ability to properly integrate Rozemyne’s ideas. 

Ascedance of a Bookworm also states that this is not a fix that can be solved in a single action, in fact it cannot be fixed in single generation. Something that Rozemyne critiques of Sisgwals is his insistence that all problems ought to be solved quickly so they cannot cause harm in the future (again, amputating an arm to save the head). 

But this is proving to be a flawed response. This idea of cutting all crippled arms is what gives way the purges, and the mana crisis they’re having. 

Rozemyne, perhaps as a chronically ill child herself, does her best to avoid this. She recognizes that just because someone isn’t “up to standard”, doesn’t mean they cannot be rehabilitated and integrated back into society. She does this believing human life to be valuable regardless of what can it offer - but because of the world they live in she has hidden this behind the “so they can give back to society”. 

It’s way more productive to save someone than to kill them. This creates a bunch of problems, yes. But it’s worth it. Being a leader it’s not an easy job. 

It’s something even Ferdinand comments on. To be a Zent, you have to give up everything you love for your country. And that means EVERYTHING. Something that, if I’m being 100% honest, I don’t think Sisgwald understands. The mere idea of him waiting to be Zent simply because that’s what he’s been told all his life is tantamount to laughable. 

At this point, the best option is undoubtedly Eglantine. If he fails to understand this and clings to a throne he’s no longer the best suited for - it’s nothing but useless pride wrapped in a cocoon of delusion. 

There’s so much that needs to be learned and work to be put in. Rozemyne does not accept the role, not because she’s humble, but because she understands this. Leading takes hard work, it takes time, it takes effort. She does not want it, and why should she? She has been offered none of the privileges of royalty, yet she’s expected to perform their labour and duties.

Those who benefit from Royalty are basically dumping all their work on her lap. Well, granted, not all the work. But definitely a good chunk of theirs. For example, transcribing ancient languages to find their stupid bible, instead of asking the temple. 

(*PIN: And mind you, people can absolutely still learn ancient languages. But another huge fault of the royalty, as it is right now, is that there’s no one willing to put in the time and effort to preserve or revive their own goddamn culture).

Yeah, sure, maybe Rozemyne has a duty to rule, as she’s the most capable…But. She shouldn’t. Royalty, who’s been trained their whole lives to rule, or support rulers - should be more than well-equipped to solve their own problems. Hell, they have attracted top talen- No. They’ve stolen top talent from other duchies, they have all the resources they could want, and they have the ultimate say on absolutely everything. Tell me why they want to poach another talented person from their duchy? 

It’s not Rozemyne’s responsibility to solve the problems of royalty. In other words, it’s not our duty to solve politicians’ problems. It’s not our duty to solve the problem of first-world countries, it’s not our duty to solve other people’s problems. 

Ugh, I’m getting heated. 

This is all, mind you, after Rozemyne was told in her early years she wouldn’t be able to achieve anything because she’s just a commoner. Which, again, bullshit. She’s the prime example that there’s nothing that prevents a commoner from being on the level of an archduke, or hell, becoming a Zent, other than a social one. Truly, Yurgenschmidt’s nobility as made-up as our own. 

The introduction, or rather, the direct criticism of royalty in part 5, is the house of card toppling in all the themes touched barely in previous parts.

The issues with meritocracy, the absurd power inbalances, the outdated view of older generations that refuse to give way to a better future for the youth, as well as a hierarchy based on an entirely made-up concept. 

It quickly proved to be absolutely a political story. But I find it so impressive that it’s not something you would notice, or at least be explicitly made aware, until Part 5. 

Part 1 - 4 made sure to lay the ground of how this world works, then in Part 5 it decided to break the illusion that it is, in fact, working. 

PREV <;< MASTERLIST >> NEXT

[mmani-e]

Disco Elysium-Inspire Skill Portraits for Danganronpa, Part 1: Intellect

I just recently finished Disco Elysium and I adore the game so so much. I'm so autistic for the skill portraits they make me go CRAZY!! So I decided to combine it with my favorite fandom hehe.

Individual images + descriptions and extras under read more

[CASE-SOLVER] (Represents LOGIC in DE)

Each deduction a step towards the exit. Each case, a leap.

Cool for: Thinkers, Puzzle Wizards, Detached Investigators

It is the deep and primal urge in you to take in every detail, check every little nook and cranny of every room, and pick apart the testimonies of your friends. You can't help but feel like you've been walked through these sorts of things before. You wonder why.

At high levels, you will be able to solve every case with even the most minor of clues, or at the very least try your best. You'll be picking apart your friends' statements, even in simple conversation, making you just delightfully insufferable. At low levels you'll have a hard time with even 9-piece puzzles and asking people smarter than you what anything means.

[CREATIVE RE-ASSEMBLY] (Represents CONCEPTUALIZATION and VISUAL CALCULUS)

The gift of spatial awareness and the capacity for creativity.

Cool for: Artists, Whoever is reading this, Whoever is typing this

You feel yourself as not exactly an artist, but something close. A conoissuer of all things pure and beautiful in the world, an observer to the finer details of the media you consume, you can pick apart everything and reconstruct already existing concepts in your head with ease and daydreams, and not just with fiction.

At high levels, Creative Re-Assembly allows you to find joy in even the smalles of details, details you easily pick-up and reconstruct in your head thanks to your particular love for the visual arts. However, you'll also become something of a recluse, as the visual arts are just so pure and delightful that you can't waste time on others, conversations that don't involve your beloved media become pointless. At low levels, you struggle with object permanence.

[ELOQUENCE] (Represents RHETORIC and ENCYCLOPEDIA)

Speak with clarity, walk with culture.

Cool for: Speakers, Smartasses, Trust Fund Kids

Eloquence is key to delivering your truth effectively and in a dignified manner befitting someone considered to be worthy of the time of Nobility, granting you access to good breeding and manners, along with confidence in your speech and the knowledge to back it up.

At high levels, Eloquence will allow you insights and knowledge on the wider, educated world, along with a dignified and refined manner of conversing that makes people really listen. You will become a proud, honorable man, and your voice will become so proud and powerful that it will even be audible from all the way up your ass: where your head is most commonly situated. At low levels, you'll be a boorish negotiator and an unenlightened swine, unable to hold a conversation without resorting to multiple "likes", "umms", and "w-well, uhh-"s.

[JIKKO] (Represents DRAMA)

You're a performer, now perform.

Cool for: Actors, Liars, Manipulators

A killing game is a game nonetheless, and there is no greater tool to a performer's toolbelt than their ability to lie and immerse themselves in a world that cannot be. You yourself realize, maybe more than anyone, that this whole thing is a sham, a show, and not just the killing game. Everyone is always hiding their true selves.

At high levels, Jikko makes you a master of dramatics, capable of telling when others are lying with ease. High levels also make you an insufferable drama queen, making a mess out of anyone and everything just to keep the spotlight on you for that much longer, deny it all you want, but fame feels good. At low levels you'll have trouble picking out the most obvious lies apart, you cry when people tell particularly nasty yo mama jokes.

EXTRAS

[zodiactalks]

FUNNIEST Zodiac Signs Ranked

Many people agree that you can’t manufacture a great sense of humor. You either are born with it, or you don’t have it.

This talent belongs to spontaneous, quick-witted people, who are not afraid to laugh at themselves! These characters are very observant and pay attention to their surroundings, have a curious nature, and are always ready to learn new things.

Humor is usually found in things that are out of place. The better someone assumes unique perspectives or sees things from a completely different angle, the better this person will be at making funny remarks about their daily lives.

A natural sense of humor is also related to outgoing, talkative people and enjoy having an audience to entertain.

Do you consider yourself a funny person? Read on and find out if your sign is one of the funniest in the zodiac!

#1. Gemini

This sociable sign has all the ingredients that make a great comedian: they are outgoing, very clever, spontaneous, and good with words. Geminis are the clown of their groups, always finding how to make people laugh, regardless of the circumstances.

These individuals have a natural skill for witty and simple jokes. They are also very friendly and can get along with almost everyone, making this adaptable character one of their key assets to their intuitive sense of humor.

Gemini will make a great comedian since they are charming and know how to keep an audience engaged for hours to come.

#2. Sagittarius

Sagittarians are also hilarious signs. Instead of dwelling on their problems or unfortunate circumstances, they prefer to laugh at themselves and make a joke about it!

Sagittarians are spontaneous, light-hearted, and adventurous, which means they are ready to turn things upside down and laugh at the outcomes, a typical personality trait of a funny person. There is no tragic situation that Sagittarius cannot reverse with their quirky sense of humor and infectious positivity. For this reason, it’s very wise to keep one of these optimistic fellows around in case you are having a bad day.

#3. Aquarius

Aquarius’ brilliant mind is worthy of admiration. Their cutting-edge ideas make them one of the best comedians of the whole zodiac. This sign doesn’t follow the mainstream and therefore laughs at outdated laws and restrictions with their jokes.

These folks have a detached nature that’s often related to people with a keen sense of humor. Those who are too serious or too identified with the action can’t see the funny side of life.

But Aquarians are able to see the funny patterns in their circumstances, even in unfortunate times. Their sense of humor is social-oriented and aims to raise awareness of society’s injustices and humanitarian concerns.

#4. Leo

Leo is a born entertainment. These individuals know how to keep other’s people attention on them, thanks to their charismatic and bright personalities. As they enjoy having the spotlight, they’ve learned how to unleash their unique sense of humor from a young age.

Their warm characters make their jokes popular, and they succeed at making everyone they know laugh for hours. They have good comedic timing, which means they don’t just have funny words. Leo has a sense of rhythm and delivery that makes them naturally funny.

#5. Scorpio

Scorpio is not very outgoing. In fact, they usually hide their inner self from the rest of the people. However, given the right circumstances, they can come up with hilarious jokes! Although, they are not for everyone's taste.

Nothing is funny by itself. Things are funny for some specific people in specific situations. Scorpio makes other laughs when the audience is in tune with its dark nature. They have a great talent for reading the atmosphere well and be in rapport with the people around them.

This sign is the king of dark humor and the kind of people that understand it has a lot of fun with their wicked jokes. So, if this is your cup of tea, find a Scorpio comedian and enjoy a wonderful time.

#6. Libra

Libra doesn’t really like to take center stage and usually doesn’t have the initiative to entertain others. However, these individuals are charming and are always looking to please their companions, so if the situation calls for it, they will crack a few jokes to break the ice. Libra’s sense of humor is tasteful and classic. They will never say anything inappropriate or offend others with their words. Libra will probably tell all those classic jokes they recall from their childhood and everyone else will just laugh to avoid making this adorable sign feel awkward. After all, they do everything they can to make their companions feel at ease.

#7. Aries

Sometimes Aries has a great sense of humor, but they just don’t realize it! When they get upset about something, their reactions are over the top, and they start spouting all sorts of outrageous things without regard for whoever is listening.

For the rest of the people, this is entirely amusing! Although Aries' intention was not what they expected, they end up laughing at themselves as well.

#8. Taurus

Taurus is a quiet and calm sign, and don’t usually like to tell jokes or make funny remarks. They prefer to go to the movies and see a comedy film instead of making other people laugh.

This sign is too down-to-earth and has a simple way of approaching their circumstances, which takes away their spontaneity and flexibility to find humor in life.

They still appreciate people with a great sense of humor and look for their company when they have spare time and want fun.

#9. Pisces

Pisces is a sensitive and dreamy water sign that tends to observe life rather than play an active role. They lack enough wit and spontaneity to make funny jokes or tell their experiences with humor. Besides, they tend to be quiet and withdrawn and don’t like when all eyes are on them. This sign is sensitive and the last thing they want to do is make other people feel bad, thanks to a misplaced joke. Pisces takes seriously the feelings of each individual and could not laugh at the underlying truths of each person's experience. They have numerous other great qualities, but humor, in particular, is not their strength.

#10. Capricorn

Capricorn is too focused on working and climbing the career ladder to be funny. This sign is known for their pessimistic approach to life and their lack of humor. Again, someone who is too rigid and down-to-earth like Capricorn is unable to look at things from a different perspective, which is pretty much what it takes to be funny and entertain other people! They don't even like comedies and don't get it when others make jokes! They are a little bit too serious for this world.

#11. Cancer

Cancer is a sensitive sign that wears a giant shell to protect itself from the outside world. That's why they tend to appear rude and don't make jokes to not interact with others.

They show a little more sense of humor after knowing someone for a long time, and they feel confident enough. However, their repertoire of jokes is quite limited, and they only show it on special occasions and when not many people are watching them.

#12. Virgo

Virgo is another pessimistic sign, prone to see the glass as half-empty and to expect the worst from their circumstances.

They also don't have much of a sense of humor. In fact, they tend to criticize people who make jokes all the time, as they consider them childish.

For Virgo, there are too many problems in the world to be laughing at those distractions.

[leastworstwizard]

>>You've never been able to consider yourself a meditative person. You think about specific things, but you... brood over a subject. Bellamy Balder likes to worry in the best of cases, obsess in the worst, and panic the whole time. You get too comfortable, and BOOM, you're asleep. It's a real pain in the ass to you, and remains the hardest parts of some of the trickiest spells you've ever learned. Not that a lack of skill is currently stopping you from trying to mentally feel your way around the controls to the physical shape of the tower.

>>Inside the darkness of closed eyes and swirling thoughts, you feel as though you're body, though firmly sat on a pillow, swims through a dark space, a void anchored around some core. You described this thing as an obstacle, an obstacle to your control of the tower, but you're more sure that it's actually a means to control it. The presence is as invisible as anything else in this meditative void of noise and nothingness, but it's inanimate, still, a sphere amid the swirl of memories and concerns you glue together with what-ifs and if-onlys.

>>An image flashes through your mind, scenes from old movies, of sci-fi devices and ancient technology engaged with by the touch of fingertips. You figure that, seeing as how this meditative session is leaning hard on the tactile imaginings of a meditative space inside your own mind, this sci-fi inspiration is as good as any. Your imagine is an overactive beast, more chatty even than your familiar, but it's been silent on the mysteries of your pocket plane until now. You imagine your palms placed against that cold, form-without-form, before attempting to wrap your fingers around it's massive surface, to get each finger tip placed flush against the anchored core.

>>There's a sudden hum, physical, imagined, maybe both, emanating up your arms. Your palms feel icy cold, your fingers numb. You realize with a sudden start that your body will not answer you, your eyes are glued shut. Your mental panic grinds like sparking gears against your body's continued level breaths, as if you've been trapped inside of your own, still-breathing corpse.

>>And then you lose all physical sensation, just in time for that black space, the break in the torrent of thoughts around you, to explode with light.

>>Your eyes are blinded with white light, tinted ever so slightly in blues and yellows and reds, greens and purples. The lights move like a great school of fish, crashing forward against each other in a rushing horde. Only they are endless currents, carrying the faint echoes of memories, of words said, words received, words never delivered. In the nearest tangled beam of light, you swear you see the face of a woman you thought you loved. In another, you see your mother how you remember her, not how she is. There again you see the memory of your father, or the memory of a dog.

>>As the surprise, the bedazzlement, fades from your eyes, your attention turns quickly from the memories raging around you, whose bright lights only highlight the sticky black anxieties between them all. Then it turns to that anchored, foreign presence you'd been tangling with. Once grappled, now visible, the thing reveals itself to be a truly massive sphere, made of tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, of tiny, flat planes. The work of master-craftsmen, or of some arcane ritual. You recognize enough of the arcane art to understand this thing is no mere crystal, no artifact.

>>It occurs to you that might be holding onto the very heart of your very small pocket plane, the power source that keeps the walls propped up around your little tower. Your hands pull away from it, and you watch with wonder as fading strands of light follow from the specific facets your finger-tips had contacted. The object suddenly animates, detaching itself from you, leaving your disembodied spirit to float aimlessly in the thoughtscape. You're not actually sure that the thing even IS a crystal, to be honest, doubly so when it splits in half.

>>Less of a crystal and more of a carved stone, made of some alien mineral, the great big ball, which you've already named the Myriahedron, splits itself cleanly in half, horizontally at the center, parting seams where not even the suggestion of one had been previously. As its bottom half drops further apart, machinery emerges from the exposed base of both halves, antenna of a sort, emerging from some boxed device; seconds before the Myriahedron finishes opening, the antennae flash with light, and the separated pairs reconnect with golden beams of light.

>You manage to will yourself forward, remembering finally that you're a researching wizard and not on a hallucinatory trip, as the very air between the two beams begins to shimmer with gold light of their own, faint and translucent. Once the full sheet of light is formed, a single golden dot, strong as the framing beams, appears against it, projected by the emerging, machine arm, copper-colored like the projector equipment casing. Your brain suggests "paper," as you watch that gold light trace it's way down the paper in a continuous left-to-right motion, as if creating lines to write by.

>>You reach out to touch the sheet, but the Myriahedron shudders at your response, the light turns a deep, ocean-green color. The entire thoughtspace loses its ambient light in response to your meddling, your thoughts muting -finally muting- in the process. Your hand looks ghostly pale in the sudden, stark light, but your eyes are draw quickly back to the projected sheet of paper by further noise. The upper half of the Myriadhedron opens further, two more compartment doors near the projector, which drop a pair of copper-colored devices, tethered to the carved heart of the pocket plane by newly-green threads of light. One is a nearly weightless pen, carved of the copper-like alloy the whole machine is made from in the shape of an elaborate writing quill, the other item is a thick book, bound in some alien-looking leather, more like flexible scales than proper hide, and studded with more copper-like alloy.

>>They merely GOT your attention, though. In the eerily comfortable light, this aquatic green, that seems to carry both the warmth of sunlight and the cold of the depths, your eyes are suddenly riveted to the paper. You wouldn't think the solid light designed, or even capable of showing your reflection, so your mind honed in on it for a second. The Bellamy on the other side of the paper sheet looks back at you with dead eyes and a sneer, until you blink, and see nothing again. The harsh shadows suddenly feel less than comfortable, and you close your eyes tightly, hoping to see something that might help you make quick, disposable sense of what you think you saw when they open.

>>When you open your eyes again, though, they are blurry, syrupy, the results of smoking weed for ten straight hours. Not blurry enough to hide the sudden trick of the light. For a fraction of a moment, there's nothing in front of you but green light, and the black shadow of an impossibly massive hand, closing around you. Again your eyes snap shut, your hands swinging wildly through the air, as your free-floating through thoughts suddenly makes you feel like a sitting duck to... what, though.

>>That sudden fear is halted by that thought, and your flailing is abruptly shut-down by clapping your own hands together. You open your eyes in time, only to find yourself in your meaty, meaty body again. The room is unfamiliar to you, but it's clearly some place in your tower that wasn't there before, or perhaps was simply inaccessible to you. Then you realize your body really HAD been floating, at which you fall six feet into a bed of extremely YOU-coded pillows, all colored in blues and greens, with the odd yellow here and there, all in a myriad of shapes.

>>As you pick yourself up from the mess of pillows, you realize they're filling in a recession in the floor of this cylindrical chamber, at the center of which is the Myriahedron. Either you summoned it to this new chamber, accidentally, or else you figured out how to get into this room. Also accidentally. Either way, yours quickly lock in on a staircase, one leading upwards, which gives you pause, makes you wonder if this is some new sub-level of the tower, under the unwelcome water flooding your plane. Regardless figuring out how to get back to the main entrance to the tower is your most pressing goal, and you can wonder if that weird reflection was just your depression or something later.

>>You know you won't, because dealing with it means processing some new grief, and you're SO over that. Especially with cool wizard shit to do, you think, trying and succeeding at prying the Myriahedron's book from its light tether. You'll take this with you instead, and read it before bed, instead of wondering what the fuck was even all of that.

[just-astrology-stuff]

Hi ! I was wondering if you could do Libra sun Gemini moon and Aries rising ? :)

Libra sun, Gemini moon, Aries rising.

Curiosity and inner restlessness spur you on to explore the world, to search for answers and hidden meaning. Detached and objective, you are a real intellectual, and it’s difficult for you to understand those who are content with surface impressions or who choose to dwell upon the superficial aspects of life. Eloquence is one of your greatest gifts. You can convince anyone of just about anything, because people can sense your inherent honesty and respond positively to graceful, easygoing manner. Even though you often alienate others with your incisive wit, most people appreciate your candor and realize your intentions are always the best. Boredom and indifference are the two things you must always struggle against. Enthusiastic and high-strung, you have a love for excitement and variety. Half the time you’re busy getting yourself into trouble and the other half you are busy trying to get yourself out of it! But those troubles are never at the expense of others' as being unfair will always bug you at the back of your mind.

You tend to view life from such a detached perspective, you may easily fall into the trap of believing that the world offers no one solace or hope. Then, instead of putting your faith in the here and now, you may search out otherworldly experiences through mysticism and the occult, or through your bizarre imagination. A pagan and a rebel at heart, no matter how hard you try to conform and adapt to the world you live in, you’ll never get over the feeling that you really belong in some other time and place. (A better look at 12th house and 1st house placements will help me elaborate on this more). With Aries ascendant you may have a strong push and pull tendency with wanting to be your true self but at the same time wanting to be some other version of yourself that may "suit" a group of people or situation better. In such cases, as self preservation, you may feel your social battery is a little drained as you slowly recognise this pattern about yourself.

One thing you have going for you is your sense of humour. You are able to laugh at yourself and at the human condition. So no matter how sad or alienated you may become, your underlying lightheartedness and appreciation of life’s irony should see you through. Humour and light hearted gossip is also a great way for you to make friends. You have great diplomatic skills and you may be able to avoid any conflicts or fights as long as do not take things too personally. You have a good balanced personality and are very self aware! At your worst, you have to be careful not to get too self critical or too egoistic! (again something that can be better explained looking at 12th house, 4th, 5th and 8th house placements). You're great at leadership roles- not just a leader that gives orders but gets down to the level of their team and listens. It is every other week you find a creative/intellectual project for yourself and you give it your all! Aries ascendant are famous for starting projects with soo much vigour they can burnout midway. But your Libra sun may keep pushing as it is "the right thing to do" to finish what you've started. I'm seeing a pattern of self-care that is essential for you to maintain- mentally and emotionally.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed making this post for you! Feel free to tip me if this resonates; feedback is appreciated always! Any queries related to payment can be addressed through DM. Check out my other posts here.

[shouldiusemyname]

This is

THE FINAL NAIL IN MY AGENDA'S COFFIN...

Well, wasn't going to say anything about it this week, but then I read this by @thegalwhorants - bestie I applaud your determination and thoroughness 💜 and it made me want to write.

So Tee, honey, if this ever gets to you - please call me before your next show cos I get you. I know what you're trying to do and I can help you make it better. It's my job (seriously, like irl I help people to better say what they want to say).

This has the 3 major Tee themes:

Family - found and biological

Queer life - within and outside of the community

Communication - the importance of

I was disappointed that all this goodness was overshadowed by the lack of communication within the show itself. Like parts of it were NOT communicating with each other AT ALL.

However, if you want the what could have been version then let's go!

This show is about Zo coming to terms with himself on all 3 levels:

Struggling with his own family and feelings of disappointment. Trying to be the perfect son as he believes he was never enough in his mother's eyes. It turns him into a people pleaser and he becomes detached from himself. He finds Joke who grounds him and gives him a sense of family where he is accepted without the constant need to be more. Joke saying "you are enough" was exactly what Zo needed to hear. This issue with mum also affects his ability to explicitly come out with Joke as his boyfriend and we are left with the sense that mum knows but wasn't really told. She gets it, but Zo never says it.

On the queer life front we have Zo's past experience of being shamed over his feelings towards a confused closeted friend leading him to think he might like a girl cos he wants to BE her - which is also a major contributor to Zo's 'I'm not enough" issues. So basically, this experience has left him scarred and caused him to further disconnect from the part of him that likes boys, leaving him very confused when he realizes he likes Joke. In addition, he also gets a glimpse into the complexities of queer life and relationships through Jeng and Pok's relationship, which imo makes him hold back when it comes to telling his mother (but this might just be me).

And for the communication - Zo learns to communicate as he's slowly reconnecting with himself. When you people please, you hide yourself. Zo's been hiding for so long that he doesn't know who he is. He's so used to hiding that he can only speak in metaphors which is why all the stories. This is the only comfortable and safe space he has to express his thoughts and how he truly feels because he doesn't have to expose himself. It's the story, not him. Add to that his super diplomatic skills expressed by his excellent debating - cos you have to be able to see all sides if you're a people pleaser...

So, this is the show I was watching and I have extended it all the grace that I can because Tee speaks to my heart.

Basically, the main issue is the name...

[quornesha]

Greater Rhea Prophecy And Symbolism

The Following Channel is from higher powers, Divine, the ancestral plane and is prophetic through Quornesha S. Lemon|

Whether the Greater Rhea appears in dreams, visions, waking life or synchronicities, it is a sign and message that You're entering into a season where you'll be married to peace, happiness, favor and blessings. The age of toiling has ended. Your options for a lifelong spouse are much more favorable and better suited for your long-term needs. This season, you'll be amongst the most powerful and elite people of this world. It is because you've done your work and healed from so much since you were a child. Leave negative people alone. Let them be. It doesn't matter if they're family, friends, co-workers. Avoid them however you can. 

You're about to experience the goodness of God, on earth. An Eden you've never even imagined was possible. People will go out of their way to be good to you. They're about to come with a plethora of tables. Asking you to be seated at theirs. Big people. Big names, big celebrities. Lots of tables all at once. World peace is key word here. Once you're seated. Recognition takes place. Everyone is giving you, Ase and honoring you. Rainbows and the color red. God is working it all out for you. Strongman are being lifted. 

You will be the one to bring peace to this world, so God/Divine is orchestrating the blessings to have you experience the peace firsthand. People will want to touch you. Because they're honoring the God in you. You're like a demigod. They're honoring the I am, within you. It will seem like you're being worshiped but you're the face, voice, eyes, the entire vessel of God. 

People will come asking questions, who are you? What is it about you? Where do you come from? You will have the answers. An anointing, an oil, a shining glory is upon you. There is a glow about you. Your best life yet, is now unfolding. Your crown is shifting. No longer are you bedridden with negativity of people, places and things. It is also time to continue cleansing of soul ties. Visit with a shaman, mystic, high priestess or high priest that can help you if that is what's necessary right now. 

Your age is returning to you. For All of the years you were stressed out, you're getting your joy back. 

This is God's Justice and no one, not even you can close this door. No longer will you only applaud others, you'll be the one to be applauded. There was someone that was close to you that has gone back to be around the very people they gossiped/talked about. Don't worry about this individual, the very circle they're using for comfort will be their Judas. Don't concern yourself, let go, breathe and move on. In fact, this may be the very person you'll need to continue your way forward from. Cutting cords. Detaching. Going no contact. This person has issues with their brain/cognitive/understanding. But they've also been very manipulative. You'll get back everything you've ever done for them, now and more. 

The Greater Rhea also shows that you will move to the location you wish to move to with ease and grace. You are protected and being divinely guided. The Kindness within people is about to show up for you.

This message isn't, obviously resonant with all whose paths it crosses, as perhaps you may encounter someone of this vernacular, mastery or skill. Therefore, it is a sign from the universe that you're meant to work with such a person.

Need further clarity or your own queries answered? Book your own reading as my schedule is full and I do not guarantee a reply on social media regarding this post.

If this is not you, then it is time to get clear to rejoin your tribe or the rest of the world of infinite beings. It's time to bring your light to the forefront. However, if you aren't able to invoke, heal or otherwise on your own, call on the assistance of shamans, healers, intuitive people, etc. to assist you. This synchronicity can possibly have specific meanings for you, it's time to get insight.

The Gift that Quornesha Has can never be duplicated, She is a Shaman, Writer, Healer,  And Teacher with incredible prophetic/healing gifts. Please do not infringe upon her rights as the author. You are not permitted to reuse, nor are you to sale as you wish. This information has been made available to you for the purpose of introduction and demonstration. All rights reserved. If you'd like to use this in a magazine, online publication, or other, please ask for permission first. Legal actions will be taken if you proceed to impose. Be blessed, bless others and be at peace on your journey. What you do is coming back on you. Make sure that it is good, and all is well within you, through you and around you.  The source sees all and knows what you think it does not. 

[belit0]

This is what I’m talking about.

My Chemical Romance- Kill All Your Friends/Itachi

It’s the “you can sleep in a coffin but the past ain’t through with you” line that got me. Poor guy.

Okay but the fact i fucking love how this turned out, fr.

I think it's kind of obvious i have a special type of love for crazy Akatuski! Shisui, but yeah, I just love inserting him everywhere when it comes to Itachi🤣❤️‍🩹

ALSO THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SONG FOR HIM¿¿¿ LOL

He died.

Itachi watched him fall, listened to his words, tried to stop him, felt the water at the end of the cliff fly in all directions as his best friend's body finally hit the surface. He spent days, years, mourning his death, thinking of a million ways he could have prevented it and drowning in sorrow, pain.

Hell, he even got the fucking Mangekyō for it.

"Well, you can hide a lot about yourself, but honey, what are you gonna do?" Shisui, the other half of his soul, his person in the world, the death he grieved for so long, towers over him. He speaks with a smile and a bandaged eye, wearing a unique black robe with red clouds.

The place is dark, without much vision or resources to guide him towards understanding, but his eyes do not detach from that marvelous figure he misses so much. Itachi is always ready for ambushes, any surprise attack, but he remembers thinking about how the person who took him knew every move, every skill he could use against him.

Nothing makes sense, and it is that very reason that led him to let his guard down. His best friend was always superior, his master in many ways, having the facility to catch him off guard.

If there is someone who can break through all his barriers without alerting his senses, it is the one Uchiha who teached him everything he knows.

"And you can sleep in a coffin, but the past ain't through with you." He approaches, crouching down in front of his face and moving the hair that rains in his eyes. He treats him as gently as ever, as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't jumped into that river years ago.

"We are all a bunch of liars, tell me, baby, who do you wanna be?" What happened in between? How did he survive it? The resolve he had when he let himself fall is something Itachi's mind never managed to forget, the guilt he always felt for finding himself unable to stop it, Shisui standing firm in his conviction to die.

How could that be? How did he get his other eye back?

How is he alive?

"And we are all about to sell it, 'cause it's tragic with a capital T, but let it be." He stands again, and doesn't bother to untie the rope that restrains every part of his body. Shisui knows him from head to toe, knows how to stop him, knows how to contain his power and prevent him from being able to fight.

After all, he's been his companion for longer than they could ever remember.

"We all wanna party when the funeral ends, and we all get together when we bury our friends." Sinking in shock and confused surprise at seeing him alive, the Uchiha never imagined he would find himself in such a situation. No one expects the person you love to commit suicide in front of you and then come back as if nothing, unhinged but oh so beautiful as always, to kidnap you.

"It's been eight bitter years since I've been seeing your face... and now you're walking away." Is all he manages to reply in his stupor, tearing words from his mind as if he had forgotten how to speak, forcing himself to remember the ninja he is.

Shisui's image, seeing him again, wipes any trace of power from his mind, feeling like a wet puppy in front of an evil owner. He can't understand, and doesn't think he can get answers from the one who was once his best friend.

Nor can he afford to stand still.

Shisui seems intent on leaving him there, restrained, and disappearing to who knows where. With no information on him, he could be surprised by anyone in this vulnerable situation, with no possibility of defense. He has to get free, not let him walk away from him, appeal to what little is left of his best friend.

He has to forget his feelings, emotions, act like a rational ninja, the tool of death and destruction he always knew to be. His hands are tied, his arms and legs too, ankles, but he must find a way to break free.

"I will die in this place, Shisui." He knows better, and that whatever the other Uchiha is planning clearly doesn't involve killing him, but he needs to summon whatever shred of conscience is still in his mind, try to get to the Shisui he always knew, who taught him how to live.

If it is through manipulation and lies, so be it.

"Sometimes you scrape and sink so low, I'm shocked at what you're capable of, Itachi. I've been watching you, seeing how you move, how you handle yourself with your missions and with people, you can be truly nasty you know?" He wears a lopsided grin on his face, mischief mixed with madness, and the Uchiha he misses and remembers would never say things like that. It's as if all the light he once had has vanished, lost among whatever happened to him after he fell into the river.

He is not the same Shisui he loved.

"And if this is a reunion, I ain't feeling the love, darling! What happened to my little Tachi, hm? I thought you'd greet me with a kiss and a hug!" Each statement is more incoherent than the last, without following a clear train of thought. He laughs like a maniac and paces from side to side in the dark place, as if deciding what to do with himself.

From the ground, Itachi can only watch.

"We are all a bunch of animals that never paid attention in school, so, tell me all about your problems." He refocuses his gaze on him, and walks over until he sits cross-legged in front of his bound body, like a small child waiting to be told a good story. He props both elbows on his knees, using his hands to support his chin and look down at him with a strange smile.

Itachi doesn't answer, unable to channel his ninja instincts and act as if this was just any enemy, too many feelings in the middle to be rational. "You're not going to tell me? Well! Let's pretend you asked me, so I'd answer with 'I was killing before killing was cool!"

He laughs wildly again, holding his belly and leaning back, unrestrained. What happened to him after he fell? What event screwed up his head so much to become... this? Such a pure being of light, full of kindness and love, totally corrupted by... what?

"And now you should answer with "you're so cool, you're so cool, so cool"! You make me sound crazy, bro, talking to myself and all that shit."

He wants to cry, curse, punch something and kill someone all at the same time, but his body continues to be paralyzed not only by that rope, but by emotions. What is happening is inexplicable, too strong to comprehend, and his best friend is no longer who he was.

"Shisui... please..."

"You'll never take me alive, Tachi." In a moment of infinite clarity and harmony, the Uchiha speaks again as before he fell into the river, as if those years had not passed and he was still the same as always. He even gives him a sweet little smile, the kind he always used to give when he spoke.

For a strange moment, his Shisui reappears on the scene, complete and intact, without any sign of insanity or mental instability. It's as extraordinary as it is deranged, but Itachi is under the illusion that it's an effort his best friend is making as a way of saying "hello, old friend, it's been many years."

"Do what it takes to survive, 'cause I'm still here..." Now he seems to be talking to himself again, looking at the ground and concentrating on his own voice. He stands up and walks quickly, determined to get out of that place and leave him there without any kind of explanation, moving farther and farther away.

In the echo of those dark walls, Itachi can hear a "You'll never get me, you'll never take me, you'll never get me alive" as his captor disappears without caring about what happens to him.

"You're walking away, and I will drown in the fear." He replies as if he might hear it, sinking into the panic growing in his chest and thinking that this must be how civilians who get caught up in ninja conflicts must feel.

The greatest display of the terrible power Shisui has over him, making him feel like a helpless child and the luckiest man in the world, all at the same time.

[rimeiii]

Using WHB as an excuse to talk about gaming (pt. 2)

With the character voicelines being revealed in WHB and Xeno Cocytus Crucible FA gaming/Arknights x MonHun event grinding in the background (I stopped at 2 FLB copies by the time Xeno Crucible ended), it's about time I talk about one of my favorite things when it comes to talking about games, that being character development through voicelines! Because these voicelines come a long way to actually describe how a character actually is, and it's often these little details that can make or break a game for me.

What do I mean with these tiny voicelines? It's those little cut-ins, those quotes characters throw out in battle. For me, a good quote is one that displays aspects of their personality without making it seem like those aspects are the sole part of their personality.

(More under the cut, along with a spoiler warning for the What Makes the Sky Blue trilogy from Granblue Fantasy, as well as both Integrated Strategies 2 and Guide Ahead from Arknights!)

WHB's in-battle quotes seem to really hammer in the fact that they're in a war and are out for the angels' blood. Which is completely fair - this is the main premise of the game, after all. But there are several standout lines for me personally, especially in the context of their brief character introductions.

First of all, Naberius. Cool, calm, and collected - demons aren't exactly keen on pissing him off because he can shapeshift into a cerberus in his rage. He himself isn't fond of getting angry and going on a rampage, which I feel is exemplified in his quote.

To me, this is an indication of the ability to keep his emotions on check, so that he won't rampage on the battlefield. It's a warning of sorts, a "You won't like me when I'm angry", spoken with an air of confidence and mastery of his own abilities. Not quite unhinged, he still has his wits on his head - that is, until you push him enough for him to fly into a rage.

Now, you want to know who's unhinged period? Dantalian.

I compared Dantalian to Executioner Specialists because that's really how I envision his fighting style - specifically Kirin R Yato's second skill. Get up close and personal, beat up a prime target while drawing attention to yourself, retreat and go into hiding while finding another opening. Dantalian offering his enemies to write on his skin actually plays well into his character design, with the writings on his skin, as well as him fighting up close and personal just to feel fear!

Also, important to note that it would seem like he's taunting the angels. Given what we know about him, I think it's more than likely he's pissing the angels off by implying that this is definitely his victory, not the angels'.

And on the other side of the coin, we have a relatively sane individual whose only priority is to defeat the angels - Leviathan!

My baby boy, despite his jealousy and agoraphobia, is still able and willing to fight for the sake of his people on the battlefield. Very task-focused, he also shows signs of protectiveness towards his fellow demons on the battlefield - perhaps, it shouldn't come as a surprise, considering the fact that he is a beloved king.

In fact, it would seem his mindset in battle is 'battle first, emotions later' - his battle quote comes off as very...detached, for lack of better words. No threats, no taunts, simply a promise to eliminate all hostiles.

For a less detached yet equally serious person, we turn to Marbas.

He is sharp and succinct in his delivery of treatment progress. Efficient as well, because you're in the battlefield, and injured people will keep on rolling in until the fighting is over.

Another way I like to see skill proc voicelines getting utilized is characterizations that may not necessarily reflect only their fighting styles. Some voiceline cases in Arknights may be similar to WHB, like Lumen - but the delivery by all of his voice actors makes it clear that our therapist fish man Jordi Fontanarossa simply isn't someone used to combat. He is, by his own admission, just an ordinary person - prone to anxiety, focused on his job as a healer. He brings a briefcase into the battlefield in his chibi sprite for crying out loud.

While Lumen's voiceline essentially has the same 'function' and setting as Marbas's voiceline, in the sense that they are stating the progress of their healing, Lumen's delivery is noticeably more frantic compared to Marbas's calmer delivery. Well...he is one of the few people who asks for some time to breathe upon being asked to lead a squad (placed on slot 1 in the squad formation screen).

Contrast this with the more battle-hardened but equally dedicated Executor, real name Federico Giallo, an executor from Laterano's Notarial Hall and literal angel with a shotgun. He is extremely dedicated to his job, and his reference to 'breaking the taboo' is one directed towards one of the Sankta's laws.

See, the angels of Arknights, the Sanktas, live under a set of rules universally known as the Law. One of these rules is the fact that they cannot aim their guns at fellow Sanktas, lest they become a Fallen. However, there are known exceptions, such as the climax of Guide Ahead with both Pope Yvangelista and Andoain shooting at each other, as well as executors like Executor/Federico being allowed to shoot and kill fellow Sankta if they are proven to be a danger. Hence, his mention of breaking the taboo.

As for fellow, non-Sankta Laterano citizens...we turn to Fiammetta, a Liberi and Mostima's keeper.

Fiammetta is often seen as a dry and serious woman who's tired of the shit her coworkers put her through (finballs spiked with peppers, the many codenames her superiors gave to her, wing stickers on her back, and more). She is driven by anger towards Andoain, not being able to forgive him for an incident in the past - the exact same incident that turned Mostima into a Fallen. She really only flies off the handle when facing him, all but telling him that even if the entirety of Laterano would forgive him, she would never do so. "I will sodomize and face-fuck you", anyone?

Yet she keeps her prickly attitude outside of facing Andoain, and it shows - the delivery of this line in particularly sells it. It's dry, matter-of-fact, and borderline sarcastic - she's not actually sorry for forgetting to hold the shot back. Her hot-headedness and emotionality really does show here, in spite of her relative calmer image. And honestly, I'd argue this is how she really is - I often get the impression that she really does care and worry about the Doctor, even though she insists that the things she does are due to contractual obligations. She just doesn't get easily flustered.

And what about someone who's at least a little bit unhinged yet attempts to keep themself sane? Then we turn our attention to Shalem.

Shalem is a man who defected and ran away from a mysterious theater troupe known as the Crimson Troupe - who are actually assassins in disguise. The things he experienced in the past, including the Crimson Troupe, was enough to break him, and his emotional stability at this current point in the timeline is...let's just say less than ideal. And what better way to reflect that in his absolutely unhinged laughter in one of his battle voicelines?

The Crimson Troupe is the main antagonist of the second instalment of Integrated Strategies, Phantom and the Crimson Solitaire. Here, he is the Operator you get by playing the game mode, and he is the one who decided to save Phantom - otherwise known as Lucian, the man who massacred several of the troupe members and is being brainwashed by the troupe in the events of the game mode. So, Shalem ends up taking on the mission to save Phantom from the troupe.

Shalem apparently also has the same VA as Leviathan, btw.

ANYWAYS! One last thing I really like to see in terns of voiceline usage is making them reflect character development! It's present in the unlockable voicelines as you promote and increase an Operator's Trust in Arknights, but I do feel it's done really well in Granblue Fantasy. As an example: meet Sandalphon.

Sandalphon started out as an antagonist in the first What Makes the Sky Blue. Blinded by hatred and anger towards Lucifer, he vowed to destroy everything the Supreme Primarch held dear to his heart - which just so happens to be the Skydoms. He even goes so far as to drop the player character down to the endless skies near the end of the event! His Grand version (the Earth version) is him at his peak, after absorbing the four tetra-element Primarch's wings to use as his own.

He is rendered in an 'imprisoned' state until the time the second What Makes the Sky Blue event rolls around, and the Paradise Lost sub title is fitting. Because by this point, Lucifer is killed by Beelzebub by decapitation and his body taken by Belial to revive Lucilius, leaving behind Lucifer's head for Sandalphon to find upon leaving the angelic cradle he was imprisoned in. Lucifer bequeaths his Supreme Primarch powers and role to Sandalphon, fulfilling his original duty - to serve as Lucifer's replacement should he one day fail to perform his duties. But there is no fanfare to this event, and Sandalphon is left with many regrets and unspoken apologies towards Lucifer, his first friend and companion in their mutual loneliness - with Sandalphon always remaining behind while Lucifer often left to tend to his Supreme Primarch duties. This is the Sandalphon that is the base of his event version (Light element).

A large chunk of his character development is resolved on the final instalment of the trilogy, 000. Here, Sandalphon vows to see through Lucifer's wish for a blue and peaceful sky, and he fights off Lucilius and Belial just to do so (Beelzebub was first weakened by Lucilius and then sealed away by Cagliostro, so err...better luck next time, Bubs). A lot of parallels happen to tie off loose ends - Sandalphon uses the wings of the tetra-element Primarchs to fight toe-to-toe with Lucilius on Michael's insistence, Sandalphon is now the one to say "ittekimasu (I'm going now)" instead of Lucifer who now says "itterashai (I'll be waiting)", and the player character is the one who grabs on to Sandalphon's hand to save him from a deadly fall to the bottom of the skies. This is the version being showcased in the above vid, as a skin for his Earth version - the version itself being a 5* uncap for the event version from Paradise Lost (the uncap material is the event reward).

All of his voicelines reflect his promise to Lucifer now! In order (as translated in the GBF Wiki):

This is the power of an angel/Primarch. Use it well.

I won't let you destroy our wish!

I will annihilate you...

I will put an end to all calamity...Ain Soph Aur!

Which is insane because the other previous versions of Sandalphon, not counting his Valentine's and summer alts? They're a touch too emotional, a touch too angry, and a touch too hateful (Earth). The summer alt also reflects some character development from The Maydays event, and hnghhh Primarchs are good give playable Gabriel and my second Michael weap (or should I say Fire PnS-) please I am a suffering Water and Fire main

Anyways yeah! Voicelines gud. Tiny character snippets gud. Me likey.

[nicromancytarot]

🌷🦋FEEDBACK🦋🌷

https://www.tumblr.com/nicromancytarot/749989027337404416/im-radhika-leo-sun-libra-moon-libra-rising?source=share

Hii @nicromancytarot it's me Radhika again!! Thankyou so much for answering my question💗I really appreciate your efforts and time&energy that you put into my reading<3🌸

As u said "You’re indecisive and need a lot of healing or developing in some departments so you can improve" I can feel this😔 and yeah as your words: I really care about people, what they think about me? What if I don't do the thinkgs they like( including my family too) and also I really really care about Devine connection,I can say too much care! That I feel like it's a trap for me, for my growth!! I don't know what to do with my own self because know I can clearly see I really becomes people's pleasure/their emotion dumping garden. ( girl you're each word is right about me😭😭😭😭😭)

But now I try my self detach from all of this and just want to focus on myself, just myself!! Want to love myself most. But I have selflove issues, that I want to change!

Can you PLEASE give me some advice like how I heal myself? And love & care about myself?

And One more thing I want to share with you( that I feel I can share, without any fair)

I'm currently in my 1st year of graduation. My exam's are near, and I was good enough is studying. But Im always interested in acting & dancing, & wanna to become a actress but I'm not confident enough about that:( like I know I can sharp my acting&dancing skills more. But I don't have guts to say this infront of the world!! I feel very nervous and tensed about that( feeling like crying) cause becoming a entertainer is not a dream for me, NOW ITS BECOME MY PASSION !! (My height make me feel so insecure about my thought of becoming a actress( I'm just 5'ft / 153cm tall😭very short) I thought everyone makes fun of me😩😭!! Ahhhhh don't know what I'm saying$$%^#& I'm so stupid!

Btw that so so much for the reading❤

Have a good Day!!🎀

Im so glad that the reading resonated well for you, I hope you can find a way to deal with these traits that is healthy and safe. It’s always hard to put our foot down when it comes to family and people that we care about, as for devine connections, I’m not surprised that you feel that way, a lot of people do. Just try to stay focused on what matters and is important to you for now!!

Unfortunately I can’t give any advice as to how you can heal (that was my last game but the heavy topics messed with my energy a lot) however, I hope you’re able to find a way yourself, or perhaps another reader who can do that for you, there’s so many out there, I’m sure you’ll be able to find the one that is meant for you.

I two want to go into the arts, when someone wants to do something with such high risk, a lot of people make fun of or doubt their ability, so have trust in yourself to make it in the industry, I believe you can. Keep motivated, keep trying and don’t give up!